Thoughts
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On names

on names

1.


I walk past two elephant skeletons at the entrance to the wing of the old medical school building in Edinburgh. I’m here to meet my director of studies at Edinburgh University. I take a seat opposite him, slightly nervous.  I’m 19 years old and it’s my 3rd day in Scotland. He looks at my name written in his note.

“Mal…Mmm..- how do you say your name?”

“It’s Małgorzata, the equivalent of Margaret in Polish. But most people call me Gosia. Goh-shyah”, I repeat slowly.

“What a lovely name”, he says. I don’t hear much convinction.

“Thank you”, I want to believe him.

2.


“Is your name ‘Russia’?  – asks a girl in one of my first classes.

“No, but it’s close! It’s pronounced Goh-shyah. It’s a diminutive of Margaret, only in Polish.”

“Oh, ok. Please never mention to anyone that I thought your name was Russia!”

(We become very good friends and still laugh about this story. )

3.


After finishing my first degree, I decide to move to Glasgow university to study medicine. I consider reinventing myself as Margaret. Surely it would be much easier.

I quickly learn it’s an old name, old-fashioned, not popular.

It’s true, there is not a single Margaret among the 300 first year medics in my year. I hear many calls for Sophies, Pauls, Rachels and other names, which carry a promise of social success.  I decide to go for Gosia again, as I probably wouldn’t answer to Margaret anyway.

My degree is taught in small groups which change every 6 weeks. At the beginning of each class I dread the register call. The facilitator stops abruptly as soon as he reaches my name. “Yes, I’m here” I say quickly, a note of apology in my voice.

I feel slightly jealous of the other Polish girl in my year whose name is Joanna.

I make a promise to myself to give my children monosyllable international names.

4.


“Before we make a start, I’d like to ask everybody to intruduce themselves to the rest of the group” – says a senior paramedic who’s running the resuscitation course for our small group of students in one of the biggest Glasgow hospitals.

“Knowing everyone’s names in the resuscitation team is very important. It makes communication much easier.”

When it’s my turn I decide to go for Maggie.

“I’ve got something else written down here. What’s your real name?” he asks in a broad Glaswegian accent.

“It’s Gosia”, I say. “A diminutive of Margaret, in Polish.”

He gets it right after the 3rd attempt.  He keeps saying it right for the next 2h of the course and I finally feel like I’m worthy of being there. My name is no longer a burden.

5.


A barista asks me for my name, he’s holding a sharpie in the air, a paper cup with a green mermaid in the other hand.

“It’s Lisa.”

He smiles with relief, I can tell he was expecting a tongue-twister gauging by my accent.

I take my coffee and walk away dialing my mum’s number.

“What’s up Małgosiu” she asks. My name is familiar in her voice as though she was saying it for the past 26 years.

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Nazywam się Małgosia Frej i piszę blog o życiu: moim i świata, który mnie otacza. Moje wpisy to głównie reportaże z podróży, przemyślenia na tematym które mnie poruszają oraz wycinki z mojego życia i pracy jako młody lekarz w Szkocji.

  • http://niesmigielska.com niesmigielska

    szkoda ze nie jestem sobie w stanie wyobrazic jak brzmi “malgorzata” dla brytyjskiego ucha. a swoja droga, moze trzeba bylo zamiast “gosia” mowic “malgo”? brzmi bardziej miedzynarodowo 😉
    a z kuba jak bylo? jednak kuba czy jednak jacob?
    ja za to nienawidzilam swojego imienia. nie bylo nigdy zadnej elzbiety w moim roczniku od pierwszej klasy podstawowki do ostatniego roku studiow i juz jako 8-latka czulam sie staroswiecka, wtf! kilka lat temu mi przeszlo i teraz swoje imie uwazam za najnajnaj, nawet przedstawiam sie czesto jako elzbieta, nawet nie ela.

  • http://www.thefleetingday.com Malgosia

    Pytalam moich kolezanek jak brzmi Malgo i wszyscy mi mowili ze dziwnie, Gosia powinno byc dosc latwe, chociaz w zyciu w Polsce nikt do mnie tak nie mowil (oprocz Kuby). ty bys miala latwo bo jest takie imie Ella tutaj, dosc popularne, poza tym moglabys byc Elizabeth jak krolowa :)

    Kuba jest Kuba dla znajomych i Jacob w pracy bo tak latwiej. nie mialam w zamiarze sie skarzyc w tym poscie, bardziej opisac rozne sytuacje ktore mnie spotkaly przez moje imie. ale fakt jest taki ze bardzo doceniam ludzi ktorzy chca nauczyc sie wymowy mojego imienia, i sama staram sie dobrze wymawiac prawdziwie imiona moich znajomych z Azji na przyklad.

    • Pietia

      A Kuby nie kojarza z wyspa?:) Na mojego synka wszyscy wolaja Kjuba. Kiedy dostaje zaproszenie na party lub kartke swiateczna, znacznie czesciej pojawia sie pisownia Cuba niz Kuba.

  • http://Www.thefoodiehistorian.blogspot.con Gwen

    Ah, names. So difficult. It’s taken me years to like my name. It’s also a granny name, unusual but handy in that I’m the only one so everyone knows who I am.
    It sounds quite harsh, almost barked, depending on who says it. If they say it short and sharp it makes me flinch. When they stretch it out I know they want something: Gweeennn???
    One of my close friends calls me Gwenny, which I love. Somehow going to the effort of lengthening my name makes me feel special. I had a flatmate that called me G. Ironically he was welsh, as is my name. That made me feel special too. The downside of a short name is that the nicknames are few and far between. I don’t think my ex partner ever called me anything other than Gwen in four years. In a way that makes me a bit sad.

    • http://www.thefleetingday.com Malgosia

      I think Gwen is a lovely name (and easy to pronounce even for foreigners!). I do feel that naming a baby is such a responsibility, as it will determine to a certain extent one’s social interaction. As you say, having a unique name can be great, it will make you more memorable. But having an old-fashioned or a very foreing-sounding name can be a constraint in social interactions. There were many occasions when I wished my name was Anna or Monika (which are also present in Polish language but much easier to say in English) but my mum says Malgorzata is a traditional Polish name and she wants me to be proud of it.

  • http://citybreakpopolsku.blogspot.com/ Agnieszka

    Agnieszka is also not easy for foreigners so usually I go with “Agnes”. The greatest fun starts with my surname ;). Nice post!