I was chatting to my sister the other day about my thoughts about birth. It turns out that I already started erasing bad memories to replace them with good, positive ones. Nice little trick mother nature. Together with the fact that a woman is very fertile after giving birth, the baby is becoming cuter with every day, it could well end up being a reason to add another worm to this family. Very nicely played, really. But I am no fool!
That’s why I want to write about my experiences as frequently as time and life allow. It will be a big change for the direction of this blog, but it’s my space in the end and I want to share my experience with you and other mothers. It kind of feels awesome to suddenly belong to a completely new group of people. A new tribe.
There is definitely something in becoming a mother that makes me feel both very isolated (read: lives of other people seem very remote and totally different to my current life) and like I belong. Earlier on today I went for a walk with Marysia. ON MY OWN. It’s a big deal. We were strolling down from Bruntsfield towards Tollcross and another mum wearing her baby in a sling walked passed me. We looked at each other and she smiled. I smiled back and nodded. She knew. I don’t know if it was my slow gait, the bags under my eyes or the number of times I checked on Marysia as I walked, but she knew that I was new to being a mum and she offered me her smile. She welcomed me to the tribe and gave me a hug. Or at least it felt like that.
I walked on, stopped by the Polish bakery to get a doughnut for J and went straight home. The late winter wind was blowing right into my face and I found it refreshing. I didn’t mind the big droplets of rain landing on my face, wetting my eyelashes. At least today they were not my tears but rain. It was mother nature kissing a new mother and telling her all will be well.